How to Psych Out Your Doctor: 10 Effective Strategies to Get What You Want and Need!

1. Butter Them Up

It may sound simple, but starting your appointment with: “Thank you for seeing me, I’m sure you’re crazy busy” goes a long way. It sets a positive tone, and can put your provider in a good mood right away.

If you want bonus points, bring chocolate! Or any little treat you think they might like. A small gesture of kindness can go a long way and set the stage for a collaborative visit.

2. Come Prepared

Think about what you want to get out of your appointment before you walk in the door (or at the very least, while you’re waiting in your underwear for your doctor to come in).

Here are a few things to consider when talking with your doctor:

• Your top 2-3 priorities. What do you want most from this visit? A new diabetes medication? A referral to a specialist? Education about a new diabetes device?
• Any new symptoms or concerns. Be specific. “I’ve been waking up with blood sugars in the 200s” is much better than “My sugars have been really high.”

As you get to know your doctor better, pay attention to their style, how they think, and how they react. Are they straightforward and efficient, or do they enjoy small talk and a good joke? The more you understand their style, the better you can tailor your approach.

3. Don’t Bury the Lede…the Clock Is Ticking!

Appointments are often only 15 or 20 minutes long, so don’t save your biggest concern for the last 60 seconds when your doctor has his or her hand on the doorknob to leave. Early in the visit, say something like: “I have one important issue I’d really like to cover today. Would you prefer we talk about it now, or later in the visit?”

This shows respect for your doctor’s time, while also making sure your biggest priority doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.

4. Tell Them What You Want (What You Really Really Want)

Sometimes patients hope their doctor will “read between the lines”, but subtle hints often get missed. Try to be as clear and straightforward as you can.

Here are some examples to add to your doctor discussion guide:

• Instead of: “I’m having a hard time”
  Try: “I’m finding it difficult to afford my insulin. Can we talk about lower-cost options?”

• Instead of: “I don’t feel great on this medication”
  Try: “This medication makes me nauseated almost every day. What alternatives might there be?”

Clarity helps your doctor offer solutions that can address your specific needs.

5. Back Up Your Case

If you’re hoping for a specific treatment, give your doctor the context they need so they can be better equipped to get you what you want.

For example, if you’re trying to get a prescription for Ozempic or Mounjaro, you might say: “I have a lifelong history of obesity and a family history of heart disease.”

This way, you’re not just saying, “I saw this cool commercial on TV and I want that shot.”  Framing your request this way helps your doctor understand the full picture, and equips them to advocate for you with insurance, too.

6. Make Sure Your Ask Is Reasonable

Whatever you’re looking for, make sure it’s a medically reasonable request. Don’t ask your doctor for a prescription for Zepbound just so you can lose 10 lbs before your kid’s bar mitzvah next month!

That said, requesting support for ongoing weight management or to reduce long-term heart risks is completely appropriate, and something your doctor should help with.

7. Be Persistent (but Polite)

Sometimes you may have to bring up a topic more than once. Maybe your doctor got sidetracked or distracted with another matter, or didn’t realize your question was a priority. That doesn’t mean you should give up.

Politely circle back: “I know we’ve talked about my insulin resistance before, but it’s still a big concern for me, and I’d like to revisit this problem with you.”

8. Limit Your Requests    

When it comes to questions for doctors, it’s tempting to bring a laundry list, but that can overwhelm even the most calm, cool, and collected provider.

Try not to come in with a binder of a zillion things you want to talk about. Focus on just a few issues per visit. If you have a lot to cover, ask about scheduling a longer visit, a video visit, or a follow-up doctor appointment.

9. Follow Up If You Need To

If you get home from your appointment and you’re unclear about instructions, or if your prescriptions don’t make it to the pharmacy, or if new problems come up, don’t be shy about reaching out to your doctor’s office. You can use the patient portal, email, or make a good old-fashioned phone call.

Keep your message short and specific:

• “Hi Dr. Lee, the pharmacy didn’t receive my insulin prescription. Could you resend it?”
• “I’ve had three afternoon lows since lowering my basal insulin. Should I adjust again?”

Timely follow-up prevents small problems from snowballing.

10. Be Your Own Advocate

In the current times of managed care and the shrinking health care dollar, you need to fight for what you need. No one will fight for it harder than you. Be professional but persistent. Learn about the recommended screening tests to diagnose diabetes-related problems early, and ask your doctor about the latest medications, devices, and treatment options available. Find out what needs to be done to live a healthy and productive life with diabetes, and then do everything you can to achieve it.