If your eyes roll back in your head at this article’s title, I get it! No one, ever, said that diabetes is the leading cause of…JOY. Sure, we know about blindness, heart disease, neuropathy, yada yada, but JOY? You’ve got to be kidding me! After 28 years of living with T1D, I truly feel diabetes has helped awaken joy in my life in unique and surprising ways.
The Hamster Wheel of Life with Diabetes
Countless books have been written about joy, because – no surprise – we need help. In this summer’s film Inside Out 2, the character named Joy, after desperately trying to wrangle the new character Anxiety, slumps into an awareness (or even resignation), wondering, “Maybe this is what it means to grow up. You feel less joy.”
The tendency for many of us these days is to live more in stress, busyness, and distraction. Where’s the joy in THAT? Toss in the job of thinking like a pancreas, or managing insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome, the endless headaches of the medical system, insurance prior authorizations, analyzing our every bite, feeling isolated, shameful, confused, and defeated….okay, now you know I get it. 😉 It seems we must be guided toward joy if we are to find it at all. The daily grind just…grinds us down. Where do we catch a break?
The Joy Mindset
Here’s the deal – in our own minds, therein lies the answer. We can actually choose joy, and there are plenty of wisdom teachers to guide us there. The pain and suffering of diabetes can be a portal to this experience of joy when we learn to use our minds and hearts skillfully.
My favorite two books on joy are The Book of Joy co-authored by The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Awakening Joy: 10 Steps that Will Put You on the Road to Real Happiness by James Baraz and Shoshana Alexander. Consider some of the wisdom in the following excerpts:
“There are going to be frustrations in life. The question is not: How do I escape? It is: How can I use this as something positive?”
“Adversity, illness, and death are real and inevitable. We choose whether to add to these unavoidable facts of life with the suffering that we create in our own minds and hearts… the chosen suffering. The more we make a different choice, to heal our own suffering, the more we can turn to others and help to address their suffering with the laughter-filled, tear-stained eyes of the heart. And the more we turn away from our self-regard to wipe the tears from the eyes of another, the more- incredibly- we are able to hear, to heal, and to transcend our own suffering. This is the true secret to joy.”
Finding Hope in the Diabetes Community
In my own life, diabetes came when I was 27 and immediately brought me in touch with a new level of adversity and a deep sense of my mortality. My A1c was 19.5, and I had been in deep denial of the increasingly severe symptoms (you all know what they are). Suddenly, my life came into laser focus (although my blurry vision from distorted sugar-filled lenses took weeks to subside). Thanks to amazing educators (Diane Pearson, CDE, Bill Polonsky, PhD) and the motivation of Steve Edelman and the crew at TCOYD®, I found hope, I found community, and yes, JOY. I found the confidence and tools to heal my own suffering. I have turned again and again to our diabetes community to both give and receive support, connected in our common suffering. In doing so, I’ve met truly amazing individuals and found joy in those micro-moments of connection, seeing/being seen not free from our diabetes-related challenges, but right alongside them – even because of them.
7 Ways to Spark Joy Living with Diabetes
Here are some simple, practical ways to cultivate your own joy alongside diabetes:
- As Jon Kabat Zinn teaches, “As long as you’re breathing, there’s more RIGHT with you than WRONG with you.” Focus on something that, in this moment, is “right” with you. Gratitude for the many miraculous ways our body functions to support our life is pretty powerful!
- Reflect on some challenge with diabetes that you have overcome, or some fear you have faced. Sit with that and notice any joy or sense of accomplishment from this.
- Take a walk in nature. Be in the moment. Open up all your senses, notice that you are safe in this moment, and allow yourself to be free from worry. The more we practice this, the more our fight/flight autonomic nervous system can settle down, and the more joy we can experience.
- Reach out to a friend who “gets it.” Encourage them to share in your joy practice in whatever way seems authentic!
- Watch one of Steve and Jeremy’s goofy videos and learn while laughing!
- Try a Lovingkindness or Metta practice.
- Practice “Sympathetic Joy” – this is celebrating someone else’s success or joy! (When I found myself having a comparing mind recently, as a T1D friend shared his “better-than-mine” A1c, I turned this envy around to JOY for him!)
I hope that some of these resonate with you. Every day we awaken brings an opportunity to practice joy, to be joy, and to radiate joy, which can truly be contagious. Diabetes burnout and depression are real – I’m not suggesting they aren’t, and I’ve had my share of both. I don’t at all recommend glossing over these experiences that benefit from professional support and healing.
Rather, I propose that, in the full catastrophe of life with diabetes, it is very possible to expand our awareness to include not just the suffering, but the joy available to us. Wisdom teachers offer the truth that “life is full of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows.” When possible, let’s support each other through the sorrows, and share the joys. Together, let’s all take care of our diabetes, and practice joy whenever we can.
An Exercise in Cultivating Joy
Recall a memory of a moment of joy you’ve experienced – this might be long ago, or just today. Joy exists in micro-moments when we are awake and aware. Maybe this memory of joy was watching the sunset, smelling a freshly baked loaf of bread, snuggling your dog, or enjoying a music concert. Choose a memory where you can really tap into the joy.
Feel this joy in your body as you bring the memory to life. Where were you? What were you doing? Who was with you? What were the sounds, smells, sensations? Why was this moment particularly joyful for you? Really sit with this for a moment. Joy is a universal emotion, but a deeply personal experience. Take a moment to savor this memory in any or all of its sensations. In this pause, in this recall, you are changing your brain for the better.
Has diabetes affected your life in a positive way? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
Heather Nielsen, LPC, CHWC, co-created Healthy Connections Hood River, OR with her husband, Dr. Jeff Horacek. Heather provides mental health counseling, health coaching, and functional lifestyle education, and she also teaches classes and workshops both live and online. Heather and her husband have long personal practices of meditation and mindfulness. These practices weave into their work with clients, and support the foundation of the work they do together. Heather is also a facilitator with DiabetesSangha.org, a community-driven initiative that makes contemplative practices like mindfulness, meditation, and wisdom teachings accessible and relevant to people affected by T1D. They host classes, meditations, and healing sessions every week.
Additional Resources:
How to Lead a More Joy-Filled Life: 5 Tips for Women* Living with Diabetes
Mind Your Mind: Meditating Your Way to a Healthy Year and a Healthier Life
The Top Five Emotional Obstacles in Controlling Diabetes
Diabetes has brought me a lot of joy! Who knew I would say that after 9 years of diabetes when I was diagnosed at 31. Changing jobs that summer required a physical in which my diabetes was thankfully caught. I had an A1C of a 12.5 and was sent off to some scary classes.
Thankfully my husband’s friend told us about the Dr. Shintani program and I was relieved to have helpful diabetes support that focused on all parts of being human. My husband and I changed our diet and began taking walks again. My A1C dropped down into the 8s just from the diet and exercise three months later and into the 7s a half a year after being diagnosed.
A year after that I remember my doctor being shocked that I was at a 6.4. He had told me I needed to be in the 6s to safely carry a baby to full term, but then he said they actually recommend being in the 5s. I grew a little frustrated, but then finally decided to go on insulin to become a mom.
Starting insulin was when my mother-in-law’s friend recommended a TCOYD conference. I read Dr. E’s book and then happily attended the conference with my mother-in-law. I loved her support in addition to what I learned at the conference.
I had my first positive pregnancy test a half of a year later! Sadly I miscarried and then the pandemic started. I turned to the online support of TCOYD to learn how to be safe during the worst of the pandemic. I now see the joy of having that time at home to work on my diabetes management.
Five months ago I gave birth to a healthy 6 pound 5 ounces baby girl! My A1C was a 5.2 for the first half of my pregnancy and a 5.4 for the second half. She had no complications. Praise God! I’m joyful for all that I have learned from TCOYD and other sources to keep my A1C low. I’m now a resource to others to refer them here or share bits of my story to help them remain hopeful as they learn to manage their diabetes too.
Wow! That is an AMAZING story! Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations on your baby girl!!